The Red and the White - a One-Act

Scene: Ken and Joan, retired couple at breakfast in their home with Will, Ken’s son, and Lynn, Will’s wife, both visiting. All are at the table.

Joan: I see you've found the worst possible napkins that we have Ken.

Ken: They were the only napkins I could see where we keep our napkins. And, of course, you think they're not good even though they are perfectly good napkins.

Joan: They are NOT perfectly good napkins Ken. It takes three of them to clean up what one good napkin can easily take care of. You didn't see the bigger paper napkins?

Ken: I've only used one napkin and it seems to work fine.

Joan: You have not, Ken, you've used two.

Ken: One, two. . . what difference does it make.? They're cheap and effective.

Lynn: It's a waste of paper when we have nice cloth napkins.

[pause]

Joan: [to Ken] And you need to wipe your mouth . . . [to herself] which will probably require another napkin.

Ken: I can use this one. [picks up a use napkin] See? [wipes his mouth, but misses the food]

Joan: Fine, Ken. [rolls her eyes. gets up]

Will: I have to say that I've used two which, given their size, is probably equal to --

Ken: And if we’re going to talk about getting the wrong thing then where did this white wine come from?

Joan: I think Will picked it out Ken. It was in the refrigerator.

Ken: I know Will picked it out, but who bought it? You’re supposed to buy the red wines and I’m supposed to buy the white wines. I didn’t buy this white wine.

Joan: Sometimes I like a white wine that isn’t so sweet so I bought this one and Will chose it for dinner. Would you like one of your white wines?

Ken: Well, I don’t want any of this wine . . . or the red wine, so, yes, I would like one of the white wines that I bought. Two wines on the table and you know that I don’t like either one of them.

Joan: Well, your wine is in the refrigerator, Ken. Do you want me to get it for you?

Ken: Yes, Joan, that would be very nice . . . and while you’re up you can get the napkins you prefer if that’s what you want. I couldn’t find them. It was just these paper ones.