More Wacko Conservative Moments

I don't fully understand why, but I sometimes subject myself to conservative talk radio to see what sort of churlish, loutish ranting qualifies as temperate deliberation on any given day. Maybe I just like the taste of my own bile as my indignation gets exercised. I listen for about 5 minutes and then wonder what in the hell I did that for.


Well, because it's fascinating. I feel like the anthropologist of some whacked culture of foam-at-the-mouthers. (You can actually learn more, by deduction, from the ads run on these shows: Lots of predatory loan, insurance, legal, mortgage, and precious metals ads for which Rush and others act as shills: "See my good friends at _________ and remember to tell that the Rush sent you! That's ___________ and, remember, tell 'em Rush says they're the best!")

Here's a little of what I've heard and read among whacko conservatives -- just in the last few days! Take it from me, turn away now!

Rush Lumbaugh, always the triumphalist when it comes to the impact of European settlements and conquest on Native Americans, insisted that the introduction of tobacco by the Native Americans to the Europeans was far more deadly and sinister than the slaughter and displacement of Native Americans and the annihilation of their cultures and languages. I guess, if I follow Rush's logic, we white folks should go out and kill the rest of the Natives because of the noxious carcinogen that they foisted upon us. Nevermind that conservatives, until well into the 80's, consistently opposed science linking tobacco to cancer, consistently opposed the regulation of tobacco, and remain opposed to the regulation of tobacco as a drug.

Some conservative radio host on Thanksgiving morning expressed outrage toward the new scanner and the optional pat downs at airports. He said, "It's time we targeted terrorists instead of sexually assaulting Americans!!!" Well, who could disagree with that? How about we give terrorists their own line at the security checkpoint? Perhaps we could just ask terrorists to identify themselves. Or we could just not check "Americans" at all and anyone who isn't an American would be, by definition, a terrorist.

I saw a big pickup truck today pulling a huge travel trailer (basically a motorhome with no engine so you have to pull it). With bay windows busting out of the sides, this travel trailer seemed disinclined to stay within the lines of its lane on the highway. Seemed like if I passed it, I'd go under one of those bay windows. Anyway, on the back of the travel trailer were two decals: One was a Ford decal which included this information: "Eating Dodges" and "Shitting Chevies." Now, I'd just spent a couple of days around Thanksgiving subjected to network television which seems to consist of screaming, almost unimaginably bad halftime shows, and the celebration of our greatest national holiday: Black Friday. But I wasn't prepared for the vulgarity of this decal. But what's conservative about this driver?

The other decal showed a little boy arcing his pee onto the word "terrorists." So, I'm guessing, no terrorists allowed in this mode of travel either. What's more, any terrorists on American roads will get their comeuppance when they come upon this American!

On the other hand . . . it's clear to me that this driver is himself al-Qaeda terrorist. A terrorist trying to fit in, to draw attention away from himself by seeming to be a vulgar gas guzzler. If not a terrorist himself,he is, at the very least, a sympathizer with terrorists insofar as he contributes to our dependence on foreign oil, a portion of the funds for which goes to regimes that support those who would roast us alive. So I assume he's part of the terrorist-sympathizer wing of the conservative movement which believes that some god will provide all the fossil fuels we could ever want and burning 'em won't cause any problems for us.

Okay, this next one doesn't involve politics so much, but . . .

Finally, Sarah Palin. In her new book, Palin apparently compliments former American Idol judge Simon Cowell for being the only person who tells the talentless that they are talentless instead of massaging their "self-esteem" like too many others do. However, when the judges on "Dancing with the Stars" dismissed Palin's daughter as talentless a la Simon Cowell, the Palinites called in with their support nonetheless and kept the kid alive! Where was Palin then with her defense of Cowell-like discernment? She'd probably dismiss Fred Astaire as "elitist." Later, when daughter finished high in the ranking, the young hoofer said, "This is a big middle finger to my mother's" opponents. Still more proof of a so-well-raised child.

For an excellent insight into the history of conservatism as an idea beginning with Edmund Burke's defense of Marie Antoinette and the French aristocracy, read Corey Rubin's essay, "The Party of Loss" in Harper's magazine 2010.