My History of Avarice -- O Lady Bird, Where Are You?

Back in the 1960's, we had a few heroes to be sure, but at this moment I must honor and perhaps call on the spirit of Lady Bird Johnson, wife of President Lyndon B. Johnson, thus making her First Lady Lady Bird Johnson. (Texas delights in odd names for its womenfolk. Turn of the century Governor Hogg named his daughter “Ima.” My wife, hailing from Houston, Tina at birth, goes by Tunafishheadface. I go to the her dentist with her just to hear them call her name.) We have far fewer billboards in America thanks to Lady Bird and if you regard billboards, or most of them anyway, as large impediments to what might otherwise be an interesting vista, then you have to appreciate the work of First Lady Lady Bird.



Just before her husband LBJ started incinerating much of the Vietnamese countryside with carpet bombing, Lady Bird took it upon herself to protect the American countryside from being bombarded by billboards. Because of Lady Bird and her work on behalf of the Highway Beautification Act of 1965, we all drive America’s interstate highways no longer defaced by messages of buy, buy, buy. So when you're in those lovely stretches of, say, Utah or West Texas or Big Sur, you can thank Lady Bird that you're looking at countryside, majestic or modest, instead of one billboard after another breathlessly informing you of the proximity of the next McDonalds.




Now consider a blog: Gracefully constructed, a blog is a meandering backroad through the hills and hollows of a variegated mind. A roadtrip of sorts through someone else’s thoughts will bring you to: little monuments of serious, even profound thought; whimsical stops for charming souvenirs; restful, rejuvenating vistas and meadows to explore; peculiar locales with odd customs; even a few troubling sites like wrecks on the side of the road or moments exhibiting poverty of thought.

My blog used to be beautiful! Modest little writings, photos of whimsy and photos of grandeur, some charming videos worthy of consideration, some artwork . . . all of it like a lovely cultural landscape, a vista, created by my own musings and eclectic interests. Some of it . . . perhaps boring for you, perhaps evoking the child’s entreaty “Are we there yet?!!?”

But then capitalism reared its ugly commodifying head and offered me filthy lucre to place ads on my blog.

So did I strike it a blow? Did I tell it to crawl or ooze back into its den of all things tawdry?

No, I can't say as I did.

Once I heard that TLH had "monetized" her everso modest blog about her Univ. of Illinois graduate student life which she even restricts to a precious few readers and earned $20 last month, I couldn't resist the millions that would certainly come MY way . . . and with which I will do beaucoup good. I might even sponsor the cleanup of a portion of Route 66.

So . . . forgive me, though I know full well what I've done.



Yes, I've "monetized" my blog. And now it is strewn with ads like so much litter thrown from cars on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Now, as you travel the byways of my mind, look to your right; look below. And please . . . click on the ads! I'm not supposed to click on my own ads, but I couldn't help clicking on the "SAT site" which I was afraid would be some "add 300 points to your score" outfit, but turned out to be the College Board. I was prepared to demonetize my blog, but . . . it seemed harmless and wouldn't it be great if the College Board paid me, albeit indirectly, for using my blog. (Kids! My blog is great for improving your vocabulary!).

And look at the ad below. For days now it’s been an ad for a microfinance operation that provides small loans of $10 or so to women starting artisanal craft operations in India! Here’s an ad that might save a life!

Still, it’s an ad. Who knows how hideous my once-graceful, uncluttered blog will become.

My blog has been monetized for about 4 days now and LW already wants to know how much dough I’ve raked in. “How much? How much?” she pleads.

I'd certainly support a generalized prohibition on blog ads of all kinds! But until that happens, I'm going to put up some billboards and sell the space! First Lady Lady Bird might even be okay with this. After all, I defy you to find a blog anywhere in the blogosphere over the last month or so that praises and provides a lovely photo of Lady Bird Johnson.