Did Jesus know when people were just trying to get his attention and not necessarily taking his name in vain? Here are some little playlets:
Mary: Jesus, will you please take out the trash?
Jesus: Mom, you didn’t just take my name in vain did you?
Mary: Oh for Chrissake Jesus.
Jesus: You better watch out, mom, cuz' when Jesus takes out the damn garbage, I mean straight up that I will “TAKE OUT the garbage!”
Mary: Don’t make me call your father in here young man!
Jesus: Pppphhh. What’s HE gonna do?
Mary: He’ll crucify you and you know it.
Peter: Christ, this “no women” thing is . . . well . . . hard!
Jesus: I’m sorry, my son.
Peter: “Sorry”? That’s all you got? Geez!
Jesus: What did you say?
Peter: Nuttin.’
Jesus: (Note to self: I’m not an idiot. Peter? Hell.)
Moneylenders after Jesus Gets Upset: Jesus H. Christ! What're ya' doin'here?!!?
Jesus: (Note to self: Ask mom about my middle name.)
Was there applause after the Sermon on the Mount?
Most of us clap hands by cupping our hands and having them crossover to make . . . a cross. Yet, this is not the attitude of prayer.
Some, however, applaud by aligning their hands as if in prayer. When Jesus saw people applaud this way, he must've thought, “Okay, prayer coming . . . no . . . yes? . . . wait . . . Is this dude just messing with me? . . .”
Turns out, it’s just prissy applause.
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